Wednesday, April 6, 2011
An Inconvenient Truth
You know something I don't understand? Automatically flushing toilets... what are they good for? Am I incapable of flushing a toilet by myself? The buildings at school have them all over the place. Maybe, I would understand if this wasn't BYU and the kids were all running around drunk and high and doing who-knows-what in the bathrooms, but really? I am 20 now and I think I am a capable human being. These toilets always seem to go off at uncomfortable moments and I always end up wishing that they would just let me do this one thing for myself.
This is how I feel every time:
Me: Wha-? NO!!
Toilet: ...Oh! sorry were you not ready?
Me: Seriously? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M READY?
Toilet: Well... I don't know... Kind of?
Me: You could have waited like another second. Isn't this your job? Don't you do this all the time?
Toilet: Of course! Jeeze! One badly timed flush and they start doubting the whole operation.
Me: Ok, sorry. I just needed a little longer.
Toilet:...Soooo how about now?
Toilet: Oh, no- now?
Me: Just WAIT!
Toilet: Oh uh...ok... Is this a good time? No?
Me: (cries a little bit)
Me: (sigh) Sure just go for -