Friday, May 28, 2010

Howler Monkey

Ive been noticing that children scream and cry quite a bit. Its not that BIG of a revelation but it does grate on ones nerves. Obviously I expected to deal with screaming children but I can't help wondering why they dont seem to understand me when I tell them to stop crying. Its not like I'm speaking another language!
For instance, the other day I noticed that Alex's hair was so full of knots and tangles that it was literally plastered to her head. I also suspect a certain degtree of hairspray added to the damage. So I took it upon myself to comb through the knots because she has gorgeous long red hair underneath the rats nest. This was no easy task and I sat there for two and a half hours, barely able to touch her head because she was screaming and crying, but also trying to untable her hair. I tried to distract her by the TV, which sometimes worked, but if she ever came to her senses the water works started up again. At the end of the two and a half hours I had only gotten a small portion of her hair undone.
Now I am watching Jackson, who is one, and obviously needs constant attention. He is currently running a car up and down my leg, which actually feels kind of good. But if he doesn't get his way...he starts to moan and cry, usually while writhing on the floor. If I carry him into a room to play he goes limp in my arms and melts to the floor like jell-o and has a fit. I cant tell him to stop because he speaks his own language.
Do not worry about me. I knew what I was getting into when I started nannying. But I am learning many new things. Like, it is pretty much impossible to guide an one year old to a hidden ball hidden behind a chair by pointing and saying "Behind you Jackson!"

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Dream Dogs and Spiders

Dogs. Scary, gross, rubber-skinned, HUGE DOGS!!!! Thats what I dreamed about last night.

For those of you who have seen Avatar imagine those strange wild dogs the guy fights at the beginning of the movie and then imagine them the size of great danes.

Then imagine that your so-called "friend" Alyshia wants to watch the movie "Spliced". You agree because, heck, its a dream and thats what you do. So you start to watch the movie. The scientists are making some sort of alien hybrid or whatever happens, but the experiment goes wrong. So very wrong. The evil creatures that we see in the real movie are not the same in the dream movie. Instead they turn into these grotesque dogs that go around and kill everything that they see. Then the movie comes to life and suddenly there are killer dogs everywhere!!! There you are watching the television when suddenly the room has three killer dogs in it! One attacks Alyshia and the other two sink their teeth into your neck and shoulders. You are screaming but the dogs dont go for the kill they just hold you in their grip which is tingling unpleasantly. And you scream at Alyshia (who doesn't seem that worried) to pause the stupid movie!!! She does, the dogs freeze, and you throw them off. But no you're not safe because MORE dogs that aren't frozen enter the room. You run. Down the stairs, out of the house, Alyshia tells you something important that you can't remember. You run for your red camaro while the yard is swarming with huge zombie dogs. You open the door and a dog jumps in ahead of you. Somehow you get it out. The lady who owns the house comes home and you want to warn her but are too interested in saving yourself. The dogs try to fence in your car but you speed right through them.
This whole time you are also freaking out because everything you see is rated R, like the movie.
You drive until you come to water and some docks. Alyshia is there. You both get in a boat and onto the water where the dogs can't get you. You speed across the water. (meanwhile the scientists who created the dogs are dieing in explosions) Then suddenly an enormous ghost/dog/skeleton/zombie comes out of the water and chases you. THEN DOGS ARE JUMPING OUT OF THE WATER!!!!! You are really terrified now. The boat lands and you and Alyshia run into a building which turns out to be a huge secret Netflix headquarters. You sneak past the the guards and employees and lie to the the bosses. Why? BECAUSE ALYSHIA WANTS TO RENT SPLICED!!!! And its no surprise that they dont want you to. Then it gets hazy but you vaguely remember death, murder, and complete world annihilation. All because some dumb scientists wanted to get creative.

This dream was terrifying. The worst part is I kept waking up to get rid of the nightmare, but when I fell asleep again it was still there!!! Upon much reflection I have decided that the dream had a moral after all. Alyshia is a satanist.

This dream was preceded and followed by a one about missing the first day of class because I couldn't find my schedule and one about spiders which is Regens fault because she told me that my blanket may have a spider on it.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010


Alex and I went for a walk in the Grand Forest today. It was muddy and cold but still a lot of fun. We saw an owl on the way which was one of the coolest things that I've ever seen. It's not everyday that I get to see an owl in the wild. Alex wasn't very interested however and kept walking after a minute.

Ive been thinking about how nannying is NOTHING like being a mom. First of all, I'm pretty sure that moms dont constantly watch play with their kids like babysitters are supposed to do. When I say I'm "pretty sure" I mean that Ive spent a great deal of time with Regen and Kenley and know that thats not how it happens.

Second, Moms love their kids more than nannies do. I mean I like the kids I nanny for but I definitely dont love them enough to find all their annoying habits endearing.

Third, Moms do whatever they want. If a mom wants to tell her kids to go watch a movie or play by themselves so that the mom can have some time alone lest they rip the kids' heads off, its fine! But if a nanny sits a kid down in front of the TV too often its considered neglect and blatantly frowned upon by the evil mom society. For instance, the other day Alex wanted to take a nap (best day of my life)so I thought that it would be the perfect opportunity to...TAKE A NAP!!!!! Ha Ha HA! The only problem was that the mom of the other two kids was hanging around working. So as I tried to drift off I was on constant alert for the sound of feet coming up the stairs at which point I was prepared to grab my book from the ground and act like I was simply enjoying a relaxing read, while still watching over Alex. I should not have to endure this kind of guilt for taking a NAP!!! Especially when I know that only a couple miles away Kenley is cozy in her bed and SO IS HER MOM!!!


Soooooo...Here I am!!! Embarking on my first blog experience. I decided to start a blog because I am nannying this summer and it will give me something to do. Something other than reading, sleeping, or actually interacting with the kids. Im starting this blog sitting in a house, at a table, with a blanket wrapped around me and it gives me the feeling that I should complete the senario with a mug of coffee from which to sip. But I dont think I will.
I watch three little kids. Jackson, 1, Jasmine, 6, and Alex, 5. Alex comes to Jackson and Jasmine's house and I watch her while those two are at school/interactive day care. Alex is supposed to arrive at 9:30 everyday when her mom goes to work. Well this simple situation has become somewhat of a guess and check because she keeps coming at different times! For instance yesterday, I arrived at a punctual 9:25 so that I might be here when Alex came. However, when I drove up her and her mom were already waiting for me outside! That made me feel a little bit like a bad nanny. So today I decided to leave my house at nine, so that I would definitely get here before them. And I did. In fact, I waited and waited for them without any results. The worst part is that I REALLY had to go to the bathroom.
This is where the craziness starts. You see, I have a giant fear of public restrooms. I just think that certain business should be taken care of in the privacy of a single, in-home bathroom where nobody can listen in or make you feel rushed by waiting in line. In fact when I first got to my dorm at BYU I would sometimes wait and set my alarm for 3:00 in the morning so that I could "go" in peace. So this is the kind of problem I faced while waiting for Alex this morning. I couldn't "go" for fear that her and her mom would drive up and start shouting for me while I was indisposed. Some things cant be rushed!!! So an ordeal that would have taken a couple seconds was put off minute after minute while I waited. I had to start walking around and even vacuumed the floor! Finally, twenty minutes later here she is and I am done waiting.